My little brother died when he was four months old. I only remember a few things about him. I remember that he was a sweet baby, I don't remember him crying at all, I do remember lying with him on his blanket and watching movies. I remember that he needed more sun. I remember that we used to rub baby oil on him. I remember that he still had blue eyes.
He'd be turning 14 in 13 days, making me three and half years older. But that's all I know. I wonder what he'd be like. I wonder if I would find him so annoying that I couldn't stand to be around him. I wonder if he'd try to come into my room and I'd kick him out. I wonder if he'd tease me about everything under the living sun.
But I don't think so. I'd like to think that we'd have an awesome bond. That he'd still be a tease, but that I'd be able to take it and tease back. That maybe he'd have some insight into the boys around me. That we could watch movies together. That he'd be good at frisbee. That he'd love to drive with me. That he'd be the most completely adorable 14 year old around.
This is why I like spending time with the boys I know that would be right around his age. Mikey, Josiah, Dewey, Danny, even Owen, although he's a bit older. I wonder if he'd be anything like any of them. I miss him.
Michael, you're the first person after Jesus I want to see when I get to heaven. Do you remember me? What does the sky look like in heaven? Is the baby that Mom miscarried a year ago a boy or a girl? I'm assuming she's a girl. Do you know her? Do you two know who we are? Do you miss me as much as I miss you?
I love you. <3
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