Well, Goodbye;

Goodbye beautiful, sad, happy, blog. I love you! But it's time to get a new one for fall.

Whoever's out there, if you want to keep tabs on my weird life, go to:

http://happinessvsadness.blogspot.com/

Bye blog! P.S. Every Day is so Worth It!

I Think I Miss Them Just A Bit Too Much;

These boys=Lovee. I can't help but adore this entire family. They're amazing people.

I just realized that I need a picture of the DannyBoy. :\

ThomasMichaelCoulter :)

So... Him=BestFriendd. :)

Your Voice Is Like :)

When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change.

I haven't heard your voice in so long. :(

Dear World;

Don't forget who you are. Remember who you can be.

Who's really worth living for?

One of my last posts! :(

Oh blog. How I love you.

Speed.

So, if you ask any of my friends, they'll tell you I'm a speed demon in my PT Cruiser. Although this is inaccurate (I think), I do speed sometimes. Okay, a lot of the time. But it's usually only 5 miles an hour or maybe 10 on big roads.

But today, I was driving to work, speeding along as usual, and God said to me, "Phoebe, you need to stop speeding."
And I said, "Now? Okay."
"No, always."
"Lord, if I stop speeding, I won't get places on time. I'm always late anyway, can't you just keep the cops away?"
But he just kept saying, "stop speeding, trust me."

So, I really have no great revelation to share. Nothing supernatural really happened today as a result of my not speeding. Except for one thing, I got every where early. Like, earlier than I do when I speed.

Weird, huh? :)

Oh Love;

So I'm gonna be switching over to my new blog, but I haven't yet mentioned all the people who make Every Day Worth It. Let me make a quick list of a few more people:

Sisters and Keno- So, you pick on me all the time. And you fight with me. AND you run around upstairs when I'm trying to sleep. But you make me laugh like no one else can. You're so funny and you= lovee.

Owen- You make me so happy! I've been missing out on another little brother for way too long. You care way more than some people whom I've known for years ever will.

Bridgette- So, we don't talk very much anymore. And I miss it. I'm sad that we don't hang out too much anymore, but I'm glad you're happy.

There's more, but it's time for my nap. :) Sleeep. <3

So, I'm putting up my new blog on Friday or Saturday. Sometime then. :D Now I can finally post something that makes me sad without being picked on haha. I know. I know.

But Every Day really has been Worth It!

God is so Good;

Matt is over. :) I missed him.

Jealousy

Sometimes, I get jealous of those girls who have boyfriends, or boys that they don't call boyfriends. Basically, anyone who has someone to hold hands with, kiss, hold and love. Like, I've never had that. And sometimes, I want it. Sometimes, I wish I was the girl who had every guy she wanted.

But guess what? I'm not completely perfect, but I get to tell my husband "I've never held hands with anyone but you, I've never kissed anyone but you, I've never been in love with anyone but you". I don't have to worry if he ever asks about the other boys I've dated, because I haven't dated any. I haven't even done stuff that should only fall under the realm of "dating", although preferably engagement or marriage.

So with that, Dear Husband, wherever you are, realize that I can't wait to marry you. I can't wait to stop being jealous. I can't wait to come home to you and I'm so happy that you'll be the only one.  :)

Push.

I push. I help. I encourage. Why does it end up this way?

Is anyone out there?

Is there anyone who cares enough to make a day really beautiful?

Sometimes I get so tired.

- I'm tired because I wake up every morning no later than 7:00

- I'm tired because I have go straight from work to school

- I'm tired of not being with my friends

- I'm tired of missing church

- I'm tired because I pour every second of energy into something other than myself

- I'm tired of worrying

- I'm tired of being sinful

Oh my goodness, but I'm so happy.

- I'm happy because the reason I wake up no later than 7:00 is because I still have a job.

- I'm happy because I have the opportunity to go to school

- I'm happy because my friends are always there to come back to

- I'm happy because I still have the right to worship God

- I'm happy because the things and people I pour energy into are so much more important than myself

- I'm happy because I have a Savior to take my worry away!

- I'm happy because Christ took my sin and threw it away!

Scars.

Everybody has them. Some people have little ones, barely noticeable even to themselves. But everybody's got them. And you know what everybody else likes to do? They love to talk about them. It's true. It seems like my problems are so much bigger than the average Joe's. My problems are more important than Kate's. My problems are the biggest freaking problems in the world!

That's our attitude. And it doesn't matter if we like talking about them, exactly. I have plenty of friends that just don't talk about their problems. But some still forget to have compassion on the others that are also hurting.

This makes no sense! Shall we, having dealt with the things we dealt with, continue with a hard heart through the rest of life? I hope not!

"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." (James 1:19)

People, I know you have scars. And I know they're not strong, sometimes they break open and bleed again, but let's have some compassion. Be sensitive.

Be love.

I Just Wanna Be Where You Are

And It All Turns Out

The door was opened. The stupid broken key still isn't out as far as I know, but the door is open.

My best friend is home.

I guess I'm not getting in trouble for that unintentional act. Yet.

I got my three abstracts done.

Becoming is tomorrow.

I'm starting to do this happiness thing again.

I'm so frustrated.

Why? Really? Really, the day had to get that much worse? I was already having a hard time.

Today, I get to work. The front desk person doesn't open up until 7:45, when I'm supposed to be opening the pool at 7:30 to get it ready for when it actually opens at 8:00. So I'm late getting in the building and opening the pool. The pool cover is heavy and it won't go on the roller right. I can't figure out the stupid lane lines because they've broken so many times that the yellow and red ones will only fit in one spot in the pool. So aggravating. Next, someone tries to get into the pool when I'm not even out there and I have to run back to the pool.

Then, to top it all off, while I was trying to get into the office, the key breaks in the lock. I tried for half an hour to get it out, but it's not coming out, it's completely stuck and the office is still locked. This is bad, considering there's a birthday party at the pool today and all the birthday party stuff is in there. It's not like I thought to myself "oh, let me break the key in the lock! Mwahahaha!" I try really, really hard to do my job and let everything run smoothly and I work hard. I really do. I follow the rules, I don't leave the deck during my shift, I'm honest on my timesheet, I try not to talk too much, I try to scan. I try so hard. But everything goes wrong.


I honestly don't know what they're going to do with me. I already called my boss, and she didn't sound too mad, so maybe I'm over reacting. I don't know.


I feel like taking a baseball bat and hitting something with it right now. I'm so mad at myself and ugh, this day isn't even halfway over and I'm already so frustrated I could cry.

Funny;

It's kinda funny. We both love someone who doesn't love us back.

It's funny how that works.

Get Ready For A Long Post...

I am Phoebe.

My friends call me Little Bird, Bee, Pheebs, and shorty.

I love beauty.

I dream too big for my little person.

I sing. 

I dance.

I write songs and poems.

But never in public.

I walked a lonely life for years, before I met my savior.

My life is often upside down and I feel like I'm drowning.

But still I manage to find my way back to the One who makes it all worth it.

He gives me friends.

Little brother.

Love.

Hope.

A future.

I'm quiet and afraid.

But inside I'm bold and I know what I want.

I wear converse, and heels.

But not at the same time.

I wish at 11:11.

I look for shooting stars.

I cross my fingers over railroads.

I "kiss the roof" at yellow lights.

And yet I know that only God is in control.

I hide away from my fears.

I would rather slip away then demand attention.

I am easily ignored.

I'm waiting for someone.

I'm hoping for my future.

I'm praying, and watching and holding my silence.

I know that Christ's love covers all.

My favorite verses are:

 2 Corinthians 12:19

1 Chronicles 16:11

Romans 14:8

My life is all for Christ.

I am preachy.

I like to rant.

I get discouraged.

I hope for the best.

Light Up The Darkness.

Rip

So something I've been thinking about today is how hard it is to fall away from something so beautiful, but how much harder is it to have that beautiful thing ripped away from you? Sometimes, it seems like God gives us so much, but then he takes it away. The Bible even says in Job 1:21 "...The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord".

But wait? Blessed be the name of the Lord? Did Job really say that? That is exactly the attitude we should have toward the things that seem like they are ripped away so cruelly. Still, we will praise the Lord, because he gives and takes away. God has a reason for everything that happens. And look at what eventually happened to Job! He was later given in abundance and more what was taken from him. He ended up with more than he had in the first place!

"But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation." (Psalm 13:5)

Don't forget to trust in His unfailing love. Bless the name of the Lord, even when it seems like everything is being taken away. He gives so much more than he will ever take. What are the things of this world when one day we will receive eternal life and heaven?

(Also remember that Job's losses weren't God's doing, but rather satan's. Just thought I'd clear that up!)

Have You Ever Felt This Way Before?

Today I was listening to the song "This is a call" by Thousand Foot Krutch. No matter where I am in my life, that song always gets me. Even if I'm so unspeakably happy, like I was today, it can still move me to tears. The first stanza and chorus goes as follows:

She's fooled all of her friends

Into thinking she's so strong

but she still sleeps with the light on

And she acts like it's all right on

As she smiles again

And her mother lies there sick with cancer

And her friends don't understand her

She's a question without answers

Who feel like falling apart

And she knows she's so much more than worthless

She needs to find her purpose

And she wonders what she did to deserve this and,

She's calling out to you

This is a call, this is a call out

'cause every time I fall down

I reach out to you

And I'm losing all control now

And my hazard signs are all out,

I'm asking you to show me what this life is all about.

That first stanza is exactly who I used to be and still sometimes feel like, but the second part is the one that really gets me. I know I'm so much more than worthless, and that's not conceit. That's knowing that I am the daughter of the king of kings! That's amazing! However, I still sometimes feel like I wander without a purpose, and sometimes I wonder what I "did to deserve this".

For those of you whom this song fits, remember that you are so much more than worthless! You are (or can become) the son or daughter of the Lord Over All the Earth! That's insane, I don't understand it, but I believe it.

That's really all I know.

All my plans keep falling through. All my plans depend on you, depend on you to help them grow.

I love you, and that's all I know.

I'm So Bored I'm Gonna Die!

This is exactly how I felt today up in the guard chair in the indoor pool. I don't really get why I get all the shifts in the indoor pool and none in the outdoor pool. It's probably because at the pool, seniority rules, and I am one of the "newer" guards there, although I've been working there about a year now.

Anyway, what I really want to rant about is that ONE person who loves to come swim in the indoor pool, right when you're about to do something interesting. (Hosing, doing the board, sweeping, and other stuff). Like, really? You have the whole outdoor pool, you have to come to the indoor pool?

If you are not, and have never been, a lifeguard, you cannot understand my hatred for that patron. Now, they're doing nothing wrong, they just innocently don't know how much I hate watching one person swim laps. They are so blissfully unaware of all the mayhem I wish on their life.

Word of advice: If you come to my pool, you better not be the only one in it. :)

I Swore I'd Never Fall Again

 But this don't even feel like falling...

My Favorite Texts Are From You :)

Fears

So I thought it would be interesting (for me, maybe not for you) to make a list of things I am legitimately afraid of. These are in descending order, and I will give reasons for them after each one, if I'm comfortable revealing them.

• Being alone (Yes, I'm the typical girl, afraid of going life alone. Solitary confinement would literally kill me.)
• Heights (Yeahh, this has a legit reason, I promise.)
• Disappointing people (I am a people-pleaser in case you haven't figured that one out. I don't bs to you, but I will work really, really, hard to please you.)
• Elevators (I will get on them, but I had to get on one today and I covered my eyes the whole way up.)
• Cockroaches (No joke, if I could, I would rid the earth of these things. They are so nasty and ugly.)

Huh, I'm afraid of less things than I thought I was. (Granted, I have other fears, but they are mostly little ones) The point I was trying to make with this whole post is that no matter how many fears we have, none of the things we are afraid of are too big for Jesus.

"For I, the Lord, will hold your right hand, saying to you 'fear not, I will help you'." (Isaiah 41:13)

Diamond or Plastic?

Okay, so I Lifeguard at the YMCA and recently noticed that on the new YMCA website, it's now being called "The Y", with the letters ymca in smaller font beside. I'm confused? Like, hasn't it been the YMCA (Young Men's Christian Association) for it's entire existence? Are even the "Christian" associations trying to take God out of everything? Are we doing this just so people of other religions are "comfortable"?

Let them be uncomfortable! I'm not saying we can't love them as people. I know plenty of people of other religions whom I totally adore and are pretty much the bomb, but I don't feel the need to make them comfortable in their religion. I realize, this is probably a turn off, but look at it this way:

If you owned a pawn shop, and someone came in with a diamond ring, and another person came in with a plastic ring, which would you be more likely to buy? Which one would hold your favor? Obviously the diamond, why not the plastic? Because the plastic does not benefit you in any way. Neither does it bring about the same result as the diamond.

In the same manner, Christians, we have to reject all other ways of life. We have our own diamond way, what do we need of the plastic of this world? I'm sorry if this offends any non-christians, but we want you to have the diamonds to.

Christians, reach for the diamond only, don't be distracted by the plastic. Don't get so comfortable that you're willing to take God out of ANY area in your life.

Don't Give Up

One of the things I recently went through was trying to decide whether or not to give up on a friendship. It was a legitimate idea for me, although I did reject it.

One of the reasons I rejected it is Tom. I was sitting next to him and I just suddenly said "I feel like giving up. Should I give up?" And he said, "who is one person who never gave up?" Of course, the only answer was Jesus and he said "right, and so you can't either."

"You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised." Hebrews 10:36

Don't give up! Jesus makes Every Day Worth It, I promise you that.

Hardest Word to Define:

Time For Work

No Will or Patrick today. :( I miss them already.

Here's a happier thought: If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. Romans 14:8

I'm so happy today. I wish everyone in the world was happy.

It's All Good

So, it has recently come to my attention that I kinda over use the phrase "it's all good". For those of you nodding your heads and wishing I would stop saying that all the time, I'm afraid I can't apologize.

See, it is all good, if you have Christ! "He has made everything beautiful in it's time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." (Eph. 3:11) See how good that is! Now granted, stuff still hurts. Life loves to throw those loopholes to make you stumble and question the goodness of God. Sometimes you feel like being done. Like, just quitting. What's the point if nothing seems good? But it is all good in Christ.


"And we know that all things work together for good, for them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone oh Lord, make me dwell in safety." Psalm 4:8

August?

Oh my lanta, it's August already! Approximately 16 days until I start my new blog. :)

You,

Are so beautiful to me.

From your clothes to your smile,

From your smell to your voice,

You make the wait worthwhile.

From your eyes to your laugh,

And the freckles on your nose,

My dear, you don't know the half,

But from your head to your toes,

You are so amazingly everything I looked for

P.S. Yes, I am aware of how silly I am. But I feel very silly and girly tonight, so bear with me. :)