This Sunday, I'm getting rebaptized. Why, you ask?


When I was six or so, I told my parents I wanted to get baptized. Looking back on it, I really didn't want to get baptized because I was a Christian. I just wanted to do it because that's what everyone else was doing and I knew it was expected of me. I would later really realize the importance of baptism and it's symbolism, but not until after I went through depression and came out really trusting Christ.

But, of course, I'm having a little trouble getting rebaptized. I've been feeling God leading me to do this for several months now. I know he wants this. Have you ever felt God telling you to do something and you just couldn't be at peace with yourself until you did it? That's what I feel like.


Unfortunately, I guess my Dad just doesn't get it. My Mom thinks it's kind of a dumb idea, but she said that if I wanted to, it was my choice. My Dad, on the other hand, kind of got angry. I'm not really sure why. I know he thinks I was ready the first time, but he can't see my heart. Is he afraid? If so, of what? I'm so confused. I don't really know what to do. I'm going ahead with this.


Lord, please change their hearts.

They just don’t get it...

&ijustwantyou

If I fall in the sand

Will you reach for my hand?

Will you let me rest?

Pull me into your chest...

And if I drop my heart

Will you pick up the parts?

Will you put them together?

Do this, and forever

I will run to you.

Hey, how did he get ahold of my heart? I’ve only known him for a few months! agjisflkflaks...

I don’t want to be this uncertain. I’d rather just know. Just know. Dear God, give me the patience to wait for you.

Dear boy, you’re everything I was looking for. What happened? I don’t want to wait for you anymore. I want to hold your hand. I don’t want to think about you all the time. I want to tell you. I want to pray about something else. I want to stop drawing hearts on my paper...

And thinking of you.

And yet you still make Every Day Worth It.

You Know You're A Lifeguard When...

1. The most exciting part of your day is realizing how pretty the outdoor pool deck looks when it's just painted.

2. Rather than go absolutely bonkers, you quickly develop a trance-like state in which you scan the pool, while your mind is a million miles away.

3. The mention of Marco Polo makes you shudder.

4. You may not know patrons' names, but are keenly aware of their swimming abilities and how long each one stays in the pool.

5. The sight of water can literally make you sick.

6. While not on duty at a public swimming area, you will still scan the water involuntarily.

7. Your co-workers don't recognize you without your bathing suit on.

I don't know what to do. I... I just... I'm tired of crying in the car so no one can see. I wish I could pour my heart out to the people I love. I wish I felt comfortable around the people who feel comfortable around me. Why can't I be the way I want to be?

Why is life so hard? Where are you, God? I know you're here, but I can't find you. Why are you letting Satan do this to me? Why don't I seek you as much as I should?

I just need someone to hold me while I cry. Is anyone out there? Anyone?

I hope Every Day will still be Worth It.

Ten Things Guys NEED to know. Seriously.

1. We don’t like fights. They scare us. We don’t really care how rude someone’s being, because we know how to walk away.
2. It’s okay if you aren’t perfect, we didn’t expect that. What would be nice is if you would work on things that frustrate us.

1. We classify any upsetting words that come out of your mouth as “yelling”. It doesn’t matter if your voice was raised or not.
2. Watch your facial expressions. Your tone doesn’t even have to change and we’re already worried that you’re upset.
3. Sometimes, we’re upset. For no obvious reason. It’s best not to say anything, just give us a big, warm hug.
4. If we can cry in front of you, that means we trust you to love us even when we look and feel our worst. (Unless, of course, said girl cries in front of everyone.)
5. Unless we say otherwise, we like it when you wipe the tears away.
6. We can be very double people. Feel free to talk to us about it, just remember that you’ll have to forgive us.
7. If you can take time away from your friends to spend time with us, it means a lot!
8. All we want is to sit next to you in the car and sing to a CD, even if you have a terrible voice.

(Naturally, these will vary with every woman you meet. You may want to ask her if you are unsure. Actually, make sure you ask if you feel like sticking around.)

This blog makes me laugh. Good thing I figured out how to follow it. oinkypig.blogspot.com =)

In other news, this past week was bad, starting with what should have been the perfect day. I ended up crying in English class and getting angry at Tom Coulter, who I shouldn’t have even been mad at. (Tom, forgive me!) I guess this shows how selfish I can be. This is why my favorite verse is “My Grace is Sufficient for you, my Power is made perfect in weakness.” It’s kind of amazing how God can turn a week that fit the song "Breathe Me” by Sia into a week that's hopefully going to be fitting the song “Everything” by Lifehouse. 

Guys, I think I’m in love with Jesus. This reminds me of the song “Lucky” by Jason Mraz and Colbie Calliat. Yes, I am aware that they totally did not mean God, but who cares? I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend.

Uhh, I had something else to say. Oh yeah! I had the priviledge of going to my good friend Ian Taylor’s baseball game on Tuesday! Unfortunately, it was really hot so I couldn’t sit for very long. I just got to spend time with his little brother Danny, who pops me random air kisses and  is both really adorable and just plain smart. I find this to be incredibly unfair, but it’s okay.

Also on Tuesday, I was able to help out with middle school at my church. I would’ve invited Dewey, who is 13, but I’m afraid even he, who can pop jokes like a gun being fired, was a little too mature. It took us thirty minutes to do what was supposed to be a five minute lesson. The best thing about that night was being able to see Ryan Webster play with the kids and actually smile a real smile. Yay! IloveGod.

Today is gonna be Worth It, I'm sure.

Me

I love how in Christ I have joy, but I hate how I would rather be happy.

I love how so many people care about me, but I hate how I can’t see it.

I love how many people I care about, but I hate how many of them don’t care about me.

I love how he makes me smile, but I hate how he makes me cry.

I love how I’m willing to wait for God to show me my husband, but I hate how I wish he’d hurry up.

I love how I can help people, but I hate how I can’t take my own advice.

I love how I trust in the Lord, but I hate how I somehow still have doubts.

I love the way I can love people, but I hate how I can’t love myself.

I love how he makes me happy, but I hate how he’s not what I need right now.

I love how many friends I have, but I hate how many of them I hurt.

I hate how much I’ve done to myself...

But I love how Every Day is still Worth It.

Sometimes I’m not so sure about you,

but how can I doubt you

when that smile denies everything?

No matter what tomorrow brings

I’ll have you to hold

You’re the one who makes me sing

And I love how you say 

“Your hands are cold”.

Meet My Future Husband,

the man I’m waiting on

One day when I know you

And feel your love come shining through

I know I’ll feel like somebody

Finally

♥

One day when I meet you

Whether you’re an old friend

Or someone new

I won’t need to pretend

that somebody cares for me

Finally

♥

One day when I see your face

I’ll make a promise to last all our days

♥

And the way you love me

it will be

something I could never see

Finally

Whoever you are, I love you! You make Every Day Worth It

•Meet Betsy Brunnig, my best friend since 7th grade•

She...

•Is a graceful klutz

•Is tall, slender and beautiful

•Loves college

•Writes really well

•Can upset me to the point of tears

•Can make me laugh so hard my stomach hurts and I can’t breathe

•Is always there when I’m down

•Can make me smile when no one else can

•Can be unsympathetic, but has an ocean full of sympathy when she knows I really need it

•Had chocolate and strawberries when I came to her house with my heart broken

•Watches awesome movies

•Wants to live in England when she’s older

Betsy Brunnig, I cannot live without you!

You make Every Day Worth It

Meet Jesus, the man who gives me life.

Thought I'd take a chance today
and follow you in every way
my heart is crying
and I am dying,
but still I trust you always

I think I'll love you forever
No one else can make me whole
It's only when we're together
that I can ward off the cold

Why is it that I can't get past me?
When I'm not in the way, I hear you speak
Lend your words now to my ear,
I will always be waiting here

I think I'll need you forever,
don't want to stay here clinging on
Hold me so we can be together
I need your right to cover my wrong

I can't keep lying here
Keep drowning in these fears
I'm calling out
I need you now

Thought I'd take a chance today
and follow you in ever way

I know I'll love you forever.

Jesus, you make Every Day Worth It